Lucy By the Sea is quite thought-provoking but mostly because it triggers my own experiences. And the most recent part that triggered something is the discovery of William’s half-sister–the one he didn’t know about. And how the first attempt to meet her did not go well. In fact, his sister refused to meet him. But, later, during the lockdown, she sought him out and very much wanted to meet him. And they had a lovely reunion.

So I thought about my own half-siblings–the ones I didn’t know growing up: my father’s younger kids (my two half-brothers and a half-sister). I grew up with my mother’s two other children–a half sister and a half brother, and a step dad. Also, I knew about a son my father had before I was born and a daughter my step dad had before I was born.

But during this time of discovery, I exchanged several emails with my half-sister, my father’s daughter. And things started off rather promising, but, then, it turned ugly. My dad tried to build a relationship with me, I know he did, but he had other family members pressuring him. And I thought about the entire family and their reaction to me and while I was open to a relationship with everyone, my main interest was my father. And nobody, really, was interested in the truth I’d discovered. And that, along with my natural curiosity, was the reason for my search.

People always want to know “why now” did you look for them. Besides my other unsuccessful attempts, I finally had the means to find them. But my main purpose was not to just get to know them, but to get to know them with this new understanding I’d had. This truth, this secret that had come to light which changed everything for me. But nobody wanted to know that and refused to hear it. And so it all came to an end.

I had risked it all and, for a time, it had paid off. But, in the end, I lost both sides of my family, that is, my mother’s kids and my father’s kids. But if you can’t have an honest relationship, is that even a relationship at all?

The good news is that those not so closely involved welcomed me with open arms.